Crimbo 08

Glorious days my friends! Over 10 MILLION mob penguins have been sent back to the dark depths of hell of which they spawned. Great work by all in the Kingdom, even though for many it may have been for selfish reasons (but then again what isn't), it is a job well done by all.
Now, we must all prepare for what comes next! The mafia will not take such slaps in the face lying down. We must prepare, Join the AMPS in standing up to this threat before it is too late.

Also any who feel so disposed, Jebach stole New Ulm while I was in the dream world fighting these fiends, a letter letting him know this was a rather rude and disgusting way to act might be in order.

A new threat on the horizon

The vile nightmares have abated, The Thrice-Great Jick be praised. But this wickedness has left the confines of land and is spreading its iniquities to the sea! This is a recent photo taken of an attacker upon the ocean. Be wary my friends, these are dark times!

More Sleepless Nights

No proof....this is maddening.....the Penguin Mafia is in cahoots with ultimate evil and there is no proof....just these frenetic dreams. Last night (I dont know if I was awake or asleep, it is hard to tell anymore) I went to descry the mafias home. There were weird lights and actions taking place, some sort of ritual I had to assume. I could catch no clear view of which to espy their furtive actions so I sidled closer. They had worked themselves into a frenzy, a strange smell filled the air, then it all stopped. Then foul stench was overwhelming now...there seemed to be a woman being held captive amongst the wicked penguins. It is hard to recount what happened next, fore depending on whether I was awake or asleep augments the insanity, but suddenly the woman yelled a blood curdling scream and the very life seemed to be drained out of her! In seconds she went from a healthy young woman to....to....dust.....Then there was a roar of such that I have never heard before (and hope to never hear again) that even the penguins cowered and most ran in fear. I think I saw something....a faint outline...unexplainable....I dont know...I think I ran.....I woke up outside the AMPS HQ lying in the bushes out front dirty, tattered, and drenched in sweat.

What have these fools awoken?

Insomnia

That same dream is haunting me nightly. The few hours I seem to be sleeping are not cutting it. I have gone to the spot in my dreams where this seems to take place. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. Just a few glares of the strong arm...wing...of the mafia, thats usual. I know this may sound crazy, but I know this really happened. This wasn't just a dream. An evil, dark being is in cahoots with the mafia........I just need proof....

Omens

I had a haunting dream last night my friends. I was at the market in Seaside Town meandering through the crowds. Two Mob Penguins passed by leering and sneering at the sight of the Grande Chelonian on my armor. They quickly turned tail (literally) as I went to draw my sword, but there was a laugh from them that made me uneasy. Like they knew something I didn't. As I stood there mildly perplexed I noticed a Black Man passing through the Crowd. Not black as in Chris Rock, black as in the absence of light. It was as if a shadow was moving about of its own accord. I could discern no features of the being, save this, that he was carrying some sort of old tattered book.

I followed this being as he headed towards the Dons Mansion. Hesitant to take any action till I knew more about this thing I fell back as he knocked on the Dons door. The door was opened to him and as he crossed the threshold, I could not so much see but more feel, it turn towards me. It was as if a great storm slammed into me knocking me to the ground. Then the earth started to give way beneath me and a deep deep darkness engulfed me, with horrible, disgusting, disturbing sounds all around.

I shot out of bed with shivers racing around my body like race cars around a track. I can feel it noble warriors. There is a greater evil here than we have ever seen before. The penguins have brought something here that pales them in evil vileness. Be on your guard my friends.

Ever Vigilant

Evil my friends is lurking around every corner. I have dreamed of the impending doom that is boiling just below the surface of this seemingly peaceful and sedate time we are living in. Remain vigilant noble warriors of right, this wickedness is beyond the servile penguin mafia. They are mere mindless dupes of something much more flagitious, that even the basest demon of Hey Deez dares not speak his name.

Evil is afoot

There are strange happenings my friends. I have recently found that there is more to the vile wickedness of the mafia than I previously thought. Walk carefully my friends.

The Plains of Ghedo

The last assault from the penguin mafia could only be described as suicidal. Dalsworth later referred to it as "retarded". The Mob Penguins, after being severely routed on the Plains of Ghedo, ordered their greenest, wet behind the ears troops to attack. Scores of veteran divisions lay slain and strewn about the battlefield. So much so that the attacking wave had trouble crawling over them to get to us!

Echo dislodged her sword from the last attacking penguin on the field. She brushed her blood soaked hair from her face and smiled at the rest of us. It was finally over. Penguin Overlords intelligence collecting had once again paid off, and turned the tables on the nefarious penguin mafia. Romeisburning searched the area to harvest still beating penguin hearts for the "Blessings of Boris" ritual we would be holding later. Vulcant scanned the plains for items to hold his famous ARs and giveaways within the coming days.

I took the moment to collect my thoughts and contemplate the days events. My Knights had once again performed above and beyond the call of duty, as is usual. The rank and file preformed admirably, as expected, save one or two week and disappointing cases. Like garaafan who wet himself and turned tail at the mere sight of a penguin on the horizon. All in all it was a good day, we returned to camp for the festivities that were planned. I cannot help but think, though, about the fallen comrades and how taxing this war is on the soul. May the Thrice-Great Jick give me the endurance to run this race to its grisly finish.